


Queen Of Books: April Fools

by HailSam



Series: Queen of Books [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: April Fools' Day, Crack, Just for fun to laugh at, Multi, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:34:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23439262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HailSam/pseuds/HailSam
Summary: Red and Co meet Richard's parents...but they're not who you think they are.
Relationships: Martha Wayne/Thomas Wayne, Sans/Sans (Undertale)
Series: Queen of Books [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1686166
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	Queen Of Books: April Fools

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-imagine of Chapter 10 of Queen of Books in the spirit of April Fools Day, as I realized the names I pulled out of thin air are actually a couple lmao
> 
> This is from the comics wherein Bruce died and as a result, Martha became The Joker while Thomas became Batman.
> 
> You can find me:  
> https://twitter.com/sassyhaillive  
> https://www.pillowfort.social/HailSam  
> https://sassyhail.tumblr.com/
> 
> If you need on Pillowfort or even an invite here, let me know I'll help you out :)

Thomas and Martha Wayne were certainly an _interesting_ duo.

And by that, Red meant he had absolutely no fucking clue how to feel.

Martha had weird face paint making her look like a clown in a red three-piece suit, while Thomas...er...was in some kind of armor but missing a mask??

“Well you see,” Martha explained, placing her tea cup down and uncrossing her legs as she sat up. “Once we found out that he left behind a grandbaby, we just had to make amends. Not that it was hard, was it, dear?” She reached over with a red gloved hand, and Thomas' hand encased hers, nodding.

“Yes. The years have been hard since Richard's...disappearance,” 'death', he insinuated, with a grimace, “And our lives were changed just as well. But we didn't know he had a baby.”

Red nodded slowly, his own hand being held by Blue. “Yeah uh, he seemed really adamant not to let you meet him...?”

Martha sighed, slipping her hand through her green hair, shaking her head. “Oh that boy.” She bit her lip, as if thinking about an old memory. “He. Well. It wasn't bad, like you're thinking,” she stumbled out. “He was young, he wanted to travel, but we...”

“We thought it better he inherit Wayne Industries,” Thomas cut in, his shoulders slumped like all the weight in the world was on him. “However, he argued against it. I told him that it's in his future, and his children's future, and their children's...”

Red sighed. “He wasn't one for being told he had to do something, that's for sure.”

Martha sat up, her free hand flitting to her mouth then to her side, then back again. “Can we-? Can we see-? We just. Please?”

Oh. They meant Boss. Red nodded, squeezing Blue's hand as he got up. “Yeah, yeah, I don't-yeah, sure.”

Blue smiled, hopping up as well. “MWEH, THE BABY BONES MAY BE VERY TIRED, BUT HE IS QUITE SWEET!” Red smiled as he rambled on about Boss, heading out to grab said toddler.

~~

“Oh my,” Martha breathed out, gently cupping Boss' cheek who giggled, nuzzling her hand. “My, you're just as tall as your father was at this age,” she grinned, but Red could see tears behind the careful mascara.

Thomas nodded as Boss toddled to him curiously, and he held his hand out for the baby to perform a very serious inspection. “He is. They grow faster and faster.”

“They do,” Martha sniffed, taking a handkerchief and dabbing her eyes, barely mussing the odd make-up. “Could we come by? Sometime? We...” She traded a look with Thomas, a look Red couldn't understand. “We have our own issues to work through, it's true. But. But we'd love to spend time with him.”

Red chuckled. “Yeah, it's not like he doesn't have enough grandparents around, yeah?”

Boss started hopping in place, babbling about something in his own toddler language and Thomas cracked a smile, something Red could tell was not something he often did.

They stayed for a bit, chatting, telling about Gotham and their lives a little (leaving the past few years a bit vague, Red noticed).

Then, as they left, Martha reached out to Thomas' hand again, lacing their fingers together. He squeezed tightly, as if to ensure he wouldn't let go as they walked through the doors. Red bounced Boss on his hip, tired but happy at meeting new people. Blue nudged him lightly, smiling. “WAS GOOD, YES?”

Red nodded, smiling back. “Better than I could imagine, at least. Alright, nap time for baby bones.”

“NOOOO,” Boss whined, cuddling up as he was, definitely, tired.

~~

Red blinked at the room full of.... _things_. More things he had ever seen. He held Boss' hand as people brought in more and more _things_ to fill the room. He shot Ding a look, the King looked exceedingly pleased with himself. “I thought we agreed not to spoil Boss?”

“Ah! Twas not I who did this! Thus, our agreement, flitted!” He fluttered his hands, pleased at his loophole. Red rolled his eyes, scoffing.

“And who did it then?”

A tablet was brought to him, Martha-missing the make-up now and looking much less restless than she had been-on the screen. “Yoohoo! Bossy baby! Reddy poo! We sent a few things back that we thought he would like!”

Red blinked, taking the tablet and letting Boss toddle around, squealing as he tossed himself on a gigantic bear three times his size. “Uh, he doesn't need all of this stuff. He's only three,” he chuckled.

Martha pouted. “Oh poo, let us spoil him just a little?”

Thomas leaned in over her shoulder, his severe countenance seeming to soften now that he was on camera. “There's something a villain of mine contributed to. I hope you don't mind.”

“A wha-villain-?!”

“MAMA LOOK!” 

A blast of literal ice shot out of a wand looking thing, barely missing Red's head as he stared, wide-eyed, then looked down at the tablet. Martha laughed nervously as Thomas grunted. “Perhaps I'll have a talk with Mister Freeze.”

“Yes, perhaps, dear. Red, don't let him play with the playing cards, please!”

Red sputtered, quickly racing after the curious toddler. “What's wrong with the cards?! And who's Mister Freeze!”

“Oh, nothing, so long as he never draws an Ace,” she muttered, then clapped her hands. “Ta, Reddy~! Love you, kisses, mwah!”

“Marth-!” but she was gone, leaving him and Blue trying to track down all the innocent-looking-but-horribly-dangerous 'toys' they had sent.

What the hell was a Batarang?!

**Author's Note:**

> ....gODSDAMMIT I WANNA WRITE MORE SHENANIGANS
> 
> Uh. April Fools! 
> 
> ....he's not Batman!
> 
> .......................
> 
> tOODLES!


End file.
